I Opened My Heart To Caustic Things

by Maycomb

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about

I Am Mighty Records

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released November 30, 2012

All music by Maycomb.
All lyrics by Simon McCoy.

Produced by Frankie Torpey.
Mastered by Dominique James.

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Maycomb Wolverhampton, UK

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Track Name: New Storms
Can I start by saying I’m sorry
For the weight of the burden that I’ve shared in every line that’s gone before
Those desperate days are gone; they light the sky behind me
A burning effigy of the life I lost

So stop me if I’m saying too many words that you’ve heard before
It’s not healthy to keep dragging all those dead regrets back for more
Those desperate days are gone; they light the sky behind me
A burning effigy of the life I lost

And there are dark clouds forming in the sky ahead
But I’ve lived through worse things, we’ll get through this

Those days are gone; they burn in effigy of the life I lost
Track Name: Old Gold
Another year, another favour to owe
My track record’s not a lot to go on
But I’m through with those sad songs

It could be better, but I’m over the worst
I guess another year of sinking won’t hurt…
I almost believe it

I told myself that I’d be out of here by now
I pretend I didn’t see that date roll round
I pretend this city isn’t holding me down
‘Cause this place kind of feels like home
I don’t want you to go and believe me
When I tell you that I should be long gone
It’s me I’m deceiving
My heart is heavy, but I needed an anchor

I can’t say that it’s the first time
I’m second guessing every choice that I have made
But you drive that message home: you do what you love the most

I know you’re telling me what I want to hear
I know it gets a little harder to say every year
But I’ve got this dumb idea weighing me down:
There must be more to life than working yourself into the ground
And believe me, when I tell you that it’s down to bad luck, it’s me I’m deceiving
Hope for the best, but expect the worst because…

I can’t say that it’s the first time
I’m second guessing every choice that I have made
But you drive that message home: you do what you love the most
I can’t say that it’s the last time I’ll long for a sense of security
But that ship sailed long ago, so here’s hoping this thing floats

We’ll break through the half light of indecision and uncertainty
This can’t fall by the wayside; I won’t give up, I won’t let this die
I said it best that first time: I’d rather not succeed than not try
Track Name: Dynamiter
Go back to the start; it’s like you’re trying too hard
And when did you get so cynical?
Those things you build with your heart;
When we tear them apart, it’s really nothing personal
But we’ll make a target out of you if your guard is down

Bend and break and dilute my best intentions
I’ve got nothing to prove; I’ve learnt that lesson

So you sold yourself?
You left your mind on the shelf?
That’s what makes you dependable
So don’t let it get to you; you know honour wasn’t yours to lose
Conformity still looks so good on you

You live the life, you call the shots
You wanted what you got
Man of the hour, your word is true;
There’ll be another one soon
Bend and break and dilute my best intentions
I’ve got nothing to prove; I’ve learnt that lesson
Tear down those things that we love
You give me reason to build them back up
You made it to the top but all you see if how far down you used to be
And how pathetic that makes me seem
You tell me what I lack, but the grass is green
I am on the side you’ll never see
I am my own to claim, to earn, to break, to build, to burn
You’ve got a lot to learn
I feel sorry for you
Track Name: I Am Constantly A Variable
I saw a chance to make up for everything I lack
I put so much faith in you, and you just turned your back
If I had something left to lose, would you take it from me?
If you’ve got something left to prove, well I’m here waiting

Everyone else got this right first time
And I don’t know what’s left to try…

So take all I have away, if that is what is takes
But I can’t say I’m so sure
‘Cause I put faith in things I couldn’t see
And look what that got me…
If I’m walking away now, how can you blame me?

There was a time when this darkened mind was kept alight by trust
This heart looked gold back then, but I have seen it rust
Still I held my breath in hope that you knew I was worth saving
Now my lungs are tired and I need proof it’s a chance worth taking
And I’ve got this narcissistic side that says you let me down tonight…

Deep inside this heart of mine, I’m holding out for you
Illicit faith that’s based on fear
Well, that will have to do
‘Cause though I’ve tried I can’t fight this
I need to believe in something, that much is true
I’d just rather that something wasn’t you…
Track Name: Sinking Song
I’ve got this sinking feeling
It took the best of me to master the art of mediocrity
I’ve got some bright ideas
I’ve got these hopes and dreams
I’ve got a world that’s indifferent to me

And you speak the truth
I just find it so much harder than you make it seem
It sounds so easy…

You’ve got your own agenda
Sharpen your claws and teeth
Carve me a crass and crude obituary
You made me see; I was so naive
I guess I had it coming to me…

Come back stronger and you’ll get what you deserve
There’s no easy way to learn how it’s a long way down
And you speak the truth
I just find it so much harder than you

You must have an arduous job to do
Without the burden of my banality
And I guess I really struck a nerve this time
You shot holes in my integrity
And I’d bite my tongue, but the irony flows
When you recite my flaws in sub-standard prose

Come back stronger
You’ll get what you deserve
The truth is I find it so much harder than you make it seem
It sounds so easy

I’ve got this sinking feeling…
Track Name: Out Of Darkness Cometh Light
I pick myself up off the ground
Breathe in and breathe out
Retrace the same steps I retraced last time around

Did I let you down?
Did I leave you out?
Did I let you down?
Did I leave you…

Like neon lights in an abandoned town;
Forlorn but shining out
A soul with no vessel
I’m lost until you’re found

I won’t let you down
I won’t leave you out
I won’t let you down
I won’t leave you…
Track Name: When The Time Comes
We both know what was set in stone on that first night
The time is coming soon
And so, you have got to know now;
When I’m gone I’ll still be right next to you

So if I’m lost to the storm or taken by the sea
I’ll still hear you talk to me…

‘Cause I have seen the world in tones of grey
You gave colour to me
And I will fight the good fight
‘Cause you’ve seen things that you’ll never un-see
I know you saw them for me

We’ve got to go; we’ll head for the coast
Just hold on to hope; it’s all that’s left to lose
And I won’t say that it’s safe to slow down
I can’t bring myself to lie to you

Not everyone’s on the same side as you and I
It seems the whole world’s against us, and it may be
So it’s ok to be afraid, but don’t you let them see
Just take my hand, hold on to me

‘Cause I have seen the world in tones of grey
You gave colour to me
And I will fight the good fight
‘Cause you’ve seen things that you’ll never un-see
I know you saw them for me
We’ve got to go…
Track Name: Jetsam
The thorn in my side; can’t seem to shake this feeling something isn’t right
Quietly terrified that I could spend my whole life
Crossing the days out while I wait for it to start
If this is all that I’ve got, I overstated when I said it was a long shot;
It’s just a shot in the dark

But do you live without worth if you don’t follow your heart to the ends of the earth?
Live without worth, and my fingers are crossed you get what you deserve

So I take it in my stride
I’ll keep on digging though there’s nothing here to find
I’m seeing Xs marked on everybody’s map but mine
And everything that I try to save is lost to the tide
I’m sick of feeling like a footnote in my own life
They’ll call this shot at the stars a leap of faith too far

But do you live without worth if you don’t follow your heart to the ends of the earth?
Live without worth, and my fingers are crossed you get what you deserve

Because I’ve worked so hard to get this off the ground
So why would I stop now?
We’ve come too far to turn this round
And I know in the long run it’s not the logical option

But do you live without worth if you don’t follow your heart to the ends of the earth?
Live without worth, and my fingers are crossed you get what you deserve

The thorn in my side; can’t seem to shake this feeling something isn’t right
Track Name: Start Missing Everybody
I opened my heart to caustic things
I’ve served my time for that cardinal sin
With patience tested, fingers burnt, self deprecated
I came back with lessons learnt

I have felt the burden of shame; I know that feeling
I don’t regret living this way; I found what I needed
I once stood where you stand today
Have faith, believe me: there’s no choice to be made

Hold out, you’ll find a way
This road is long but it’s leading somewhere
If you can stay strong there will come a day when you’ll hold your head high
And see the sun shining through the rain

Your faith rewarded, contentment earned
Hope reinstated, pride intact, these lessons learnt

I have felt the burden of shame; I know that feeling
I don’t regret living this way; I found what I needed
I once stood where you stand today
Have faith, believe me: there’s no choice to be made
We follow our hearts to the grave…
Track Name: Also Ran
I’m not too proud to say that I felt such jealousy engulf me
At the sight of the success you found
I’d have killed for half the chances you turned down
I hope you still call me a friend, now my eyes are blue again

If I don’t see you before December
I’ll know this year’s been good to you
If I don’t see you back home next summer
‘Cause I’m still trying to see this through, I’ll know it’s been a good one

I’m just terrified that I chose the wrong path
I’ll give this the best years of my life to end up not one step closer
To that balance between contentment and security;
I’ll fall from this tightrope that you walk across so easily
But I’ll make the best of this
And I’ll show that place what I am made of
If I must be second best, I’m glad that it’s to you my friend

If I don’t see you before December
I’ll know this year’s been good to you
If I don’t see you back home next summer
‘Cause I’m still trying to see this through, I’ll know it’s been a good one

And I am proud that I can call this mine
But no matter how I shine, I’m still left in the shadow of your light
Still, I won’t defend such jealousy now my eyes are blue again
Track Name: Whatever Happens, Happens
Former self disavowed, the worst is over now
Here’s to the end of my descension; I raise my glass to you
Kept in the dark for so long, convinced that I belonged down in the dirt
Broke, cold, inert; I resigned myself to lose
You never can tell when the tides are gonna change
So you hold your breath and hope that fate shines your way

Until that day, the dark awaits
And you are the one who must find a way out on the waves
Though it feels like the light’s been lost, let hope remain
The darkest of nights still bring the day
It takes as long as it takes

I’m not saying that there aren’t marks on my past
I’m not proud of when I look back
But those days are dead now; at least a bad year is something to sing about
I played dead for too long; the worst days brought me the best songs
And I found words to throw the earth, and bury that cursed ruse
But you never can tell when the tides are gonna change
So hold your breath ‘til that day

Come back stronger
(You’ll get what you deserve)
Come back stronger
(I’ve learnt that lesson)
So pick yourself up off the ground
(It takes as long as it takes)
You’ve lived through worse things
(I’ve seen the world in tones of grey)
So pick yourself up off the ground
(It takes as long as it takes)
You’ve lived through worse things, you’ll get through this day
The dark awaits, and you are the one who must find a way out on the waves

You’ll chase the dark away when you are the one who must find a way out on the waves
Though it feels like the light’s been lost, let hope remain
The darkest of nights still bring the day
It takes what it takes
Until that day, the dark awaits…