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Hope House
04:09
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Hey, it’s been a while. I guess you’ve been watching the best and the worst of me. I’ll bet you cracked a smile when I tried to hold this back: it’s a freight train, I’m on the tracks. I’ve lost hope, abandoned trust. My morals are, at best, dubious. This ordeal has stripped my pride away: another lesson learnt the hard way. I’m in the dark and all you had to say was “You’re on your own again. The light’s out at the end of the tunnel, you better start getting used to it.” Did I fail your test this time? Did you really care either way? Are you keeping track of every mistake I ever made? This confession came too late in the day. I’ll hang my head and say “It wasn’t whole hearted anyway.” Is it too late to turn back and go on waiting for the tides to change? If you can, make me chaste; just give me one more day. If the sunlight fades, then I’ll be left in the dark, and all I’ll have to say is “Everyone makes mistakes.” The light’s out at the end of the tunnel; looks like
I haven’t got a prayer tonight. All the signs say that I’m the one to blame, I should feel ashamed of every insignificant choice I have made. And life is yours to take, but when they sang your praises as the curtain closed I had to turn away. Tell me that I’m wrong; I must be missing something. Safe to say it was always gonna end this way. Did I fail your test this time? I came crawling back again.
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2. |
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Loaded and ready to go: your mouth’s a gun, so what are you waiting for? I couldn’t convince you to bring an end to this war. You’ve got your cheap shots locked on target; I know just who you’re aiming for. But if you take this shot you’ve got no defence, and the sky will fall before you kill the suspense when I could spend another six months waiting to see if I’ll escape away, through the darkest of days, to see the sun again. Until then, I’ll stay below, where there’s no beating this. You got me where you wanted: all tangled up in every lie that you sold. I bought them all, and built myself a hell I couldn’t escape from. I’m cutting losses because I’m all out of options now. Fingers have been crossed in hope that your heart stops, because I just spent the last three months waiting for mine to start again. I’ll wade through the darkest of days to see the sun again. Until then I’ll stay below: there’s no beating this. You’re the one to blame for this test of faith. Of all the failure I face, it’s the one thing I would change. Now I take every second I spent waiting as a reason to break away from the despair you create. Ever since you led me in, I’ve been through the darkest days. I’ll see the sun again. Until then, I’ll stay below; but I’m beating this...
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3. |
Ghost Stories
03:50
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I turned around to see the world that I’d burnt down, and tried to salvage something of value. So I dusted off my self esteem, and I tried to get my conscience clean, but you tarnished me when you lit the match that set fire to hope. It took me all this time to see through the smoke, but now I know all the sorry stories you read, that I was made to believe, have held me down here, the best part of a year, beneath the shallow grave of deceit that you made for me. I turned down all insight and made a vow, and sold away my soul in the small print. I gave it up so easily, when I should’ve dragged myself away; you deceived me. You built the mast, but I tied the rope. Now I’ve got to find the words or I’ll start to choke, and you’ll let the world know. I have waited to say it’s over, and I have hated every moment. I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to; I can’t begin to explain what you put me though, but it turned me cold and blue, and left me haunted by you.
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4. |
Always The Courage
04:02
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Stuck in this hole; I’ve spent the last two years here, and it’s taking its toll. And though I don’t have much to show for it, you put my life before your own: you’ve helped me more than you know. So don’t be so hard on yourself; we all know that I’m not where I thought I would be, but that’s down to me. I made my promises, and I swear I will make you proud of me. All of my best laid plans led to dead ends, and seeing the bright side won’t pay the rent, but I know that you have faith in me, and that’s all I need. I had a gut full of pride, but you were on my side when with every step I felt myself fall behind. And every time I said I was not afraid, but I was afraid, you took my hand to remind me that home was a phone call away. So don’t be so hard on yourself; we all know that I’ve done things I’ll live to regret, but I won’t let this die yet. It’s all that I’ve got, but it’s more than it seems. Of all that I’ve lost, nothing means more to me. A choice was made to let every safe bet go to waste. It’s the longest of shots, but it’s all that I’ve got left to take; if I fail, at least you’ll see the best of me. A choice was made to let every safe bet go to waste. It’s the longest of shots, but it’s all that I’ve got left to take; if I make it, then you’ll see the best of me. So don’t be so hard on yourself, because you had faith in me when I’d lost all respect for myself, and honestly, nothing means more to me.
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5. |
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I’ll save my goodbyes: I had hoped to close with a better line, but it’s hard to write since my confidence capsized. And all the words that I held inside, I wish that I had told the world, and sailed that sinking feeling back to you. My fears collided, cast hope aside, and left me out in the cold. My resolve was strong, but I set my sights all wrong. And all that I had to learn was every chance I turned down has led me here, and I’ve got bridges to burn, and death threats marked “Return to sender”. I swear that I tried to fix these flaws of mine, but I took my time, and the water began to rise. So I was the vessel, you were the anchor, your stories the tide: forever changing. We won’t be back on land tonight. The setting sun on the horizon reminds me you won: it’s too late to change or disguise what I have become. You can fight to stay afloat; to break free of the undertow, but nothing can help you forget what’s hiding below. I’m sending out a signal tonight: a year at sea, I’m barely alive. But you give me a reason to fight, and I’ll get my head straight. I won’t forget that every lesson I had to learn and every chance I turned down has led me here, and I’ve got bridges to burn, and death threats marked “Return to sender”.
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