I Am Constantly A Variable

from I Opened My Heart To Caustic Things by Maycomb

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lyrics

I saw a chance to make up for everything I lack
I put so much faith in you, and you just turned your back
If I had something left to lose, would you take it from me?
If you’ve got something left to prove, well I’m here waiting

Everyone else got this right first time
And I don’t know what’s left to try…

So take all I have away, if that is what is takes
But I can’t say I’m so sure
‘Cause I put faith in things I couldn’t see
And look what that got me…
If I’m walking away now, how can you blame me?

There was a time when this darkened mind was kept alight by trust
This heart looked gold back then, but I have seen it rust
Still I held my breath in hope that you knew I was worth saving
Now my lungs are tired and I need proof it’s a chance worth taking
And I’ve got this narcissistic side that says you let me down tonight…

Deep inside this heart of mine, I’m holding out for you
Illicit faith that’s based on fear
Well, that will have to do
‘Cause though I’ve tried I can’t fight this
I need to believe in something, that much is true
I’d just rather that something wasn’t you…

credits

from I Opened My Heart To Caustic Things, released November 30, 2012

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